and I've found it a really emotional week for me :(
When this 15yr old girl passed away on Sunday, I've just been so consumed with sadness...each day several times I'd ask my kids 'what have you heard...' or 'how is so-an-so coping...' I can't stop thinking and worrying WHAT IF it were my child - how would I cope? The empty room...as they left it. The 'mother' in me hurts for this girl and her family.
Then hubby's cousin passes away at 48yr old. Leaving behind his younger wife, two sons (20 and 14) and a 4 week old grand daughter. Now I'm terrified and can't stop worrying that hubby will pass away :( It's just too much to be honest. I'm usually 'fine' and 'cope' well with funerals and people passing away. But with all the 'too close to home' young people passing away recently, it's all too much I think. It's bringing me down - and I don't want to be 'down' I don't want to be so pessimistic - how the hell can I snap out of this??
Now I'm torn, cos I really do want to go and help out with the feau's for hubby's cousin, as it's only a few minutes away form us, but I don't want baby to be passed around everyone who'll be there. There are so many illnesses going around at the moment. I'm proud of the fact that so far this winter, my little family have all managed to stay healthy - not even a sniffle...not even the baby! I've just heard word that the burial won't be till the Monday AFTER Fathers day!! That's 12 days AFTER the day he's passed away...seems a rather l o n g time to wait.
On other news...I've been feeling really tired lately - like 'exhausted' tired :( The same 'tired' I felt during pregnancy, when I had to have an iron infusion at the hospital cos my iron levels were extremely low. So I suppose I had better get myself to the docs sometime soon and get my bloods tested again. Doesn't help the ol' diet is bad *sigh*. NEED to take better care of myself. I'm my own worst enemy at the best of times!!
Oh, also received 'the' letter yesterday saying my daughter hadn't been selected to go any further in the selection process for the scholarship she applied for. Sad, but not bothered to be honest. My eldest daughter is doing really well at the school she attends and my younger one will go there and she'll do just as well :) On the plus side it also means that she'll continue on year 7 & 8 at the school she's at now, which is right next to our house. Means no added expenses such as bus fare :)
I didn't mention the school trip my daughter wants to go to next year did I? It's to the U.S. 17 days full on, action packed...trip of a life time basically. I'm keen for her to go. We gave her the deposit which had to be paid today. *deep breath* $600. Another $1000 needs to be paid first week of term 4 and another $1000 in the last week of term 4! All up the cost of the trip is $5100. *checks pulse* lol.
We're hoping that she can pay for at least half of it herself, with either the part time job she just started (at hubby's work) and with fundraising...
What is also means is, the trip I had planned for me and all 5 of the kiddies back to Samoa this xmas to visit my mum and dad has been canned *sigh* With the costs of that AND this school trip - it was all too stressful to think about and deal with.
Just to brighten things up...a pic to brighten up my day :) Enjoy :)