Gone too soon...

just a quick blog this morning.  Around two months ago hubby came home and said one of the guys at work lost a 15 yr old niece to suicide... two weeks ago a beautiful 13yr old girl committed suicide and just over the weekend a gorgeous 15yr old girl was ill (suddenly) and passed away...

I never knew any of these girls personally...I knew of them via my kids FB pages (like you Sleepless in Samoa - I also stalk my kids pages).  My kids knew of them...and the girl who passed away this weeked was known to my kids.  My eldest daughter is good friends with the eldest brother and my son is friends with the younger brother.

When I heard of their passing, I was incredibly saddened, hurt, lost and felt a genuine sense of emptiness.  The thought of what the parents and siblings and extended families must be experiencing HURT ME...so much so that when my daughter told me of the girl who passed away over the weekend, after a while I said "You know what, it's just sooo sad and hurts so much that I'd rather not know about it...it's like I'd rather be in denial that gorgeous young people are dying each month, week, day :(  Whether they took their own life or by illness - NONE of them deserve to die. 

This morning my son who is friends with the younger brother of the girl who passed away over the weekend had put photos of her on his facebook page...I saw them and just burst into tears.  Tears are welling up as I type now...

Imagine losing a child...coming home to their bedrooms...their possessions as they left them.  What were your last words with them before they left?  It hurts to think about it...it hurts to imagine that it could be one of my own.  The void left in my life if I lost one of my own...grief beyond my worst nightmares.

Having said all that though, I have lost a child.  My second child, a daughter, shortly after her birth.  We found out at my routine 18 week scan that she wouldn't make it.  I chose to continue with the pregnancy.  I had the memories of my pregnancy, memories of labouring through the birth knowing she wouldn't survive, to deal with - some how I made it through.  Some how BOTH my partner and I made it though and we went on to be blessed with another 4 children.

Anyway...maybe I'm too emotional?  But the mother in me hurts.  Is it horrible of me to want to not hear about these things happening?  To deny it happens so I don't feel this way unless I HAVE TO? *sigh* 

t.b.c...